Why?

As I was talking to my mom yesterday, I was telling her about all the cool technology that I was researching. I was telling her what I was going to do as soon as I got enough money for it. Then my mom asked me a question."Why do you want to do this?"
Boom. Whoa. Why DID I want to do this? I had spent quite a lot of hours thinking, researching, and planing and now I find out that I don't even know why I am.

Was it because I could do it? Was it because everyone else was doing it? Or was it because I really wanted to do this?

If I doing just because I could, I would be a normal Male. Cool gadgets just waiting to be messed with is something very enticing to me. I would spend lots of money just because I can. One example: I would take a Video cassette of 15 year old family videos and run it in a VCR through another box and then on a computer. From a computer onto an iPod then through a wire onto a TV. I could just leave it on the Video Cassette, but something is driving me to spend money and time just because I can. I wounder if I can ever find what is driving this.

If I was doing it because every one else was doing it, I would be a normal Teenager. I cannot fit in if I do not do the same things as everyone else (but I still need to express individuality. But that is another blog). Go with the flow but stand out. But mostly just go with the flow. One example: I really want a cell phone. I want one because everyone else has them and I want to be included more. If none of my friends had them, I don't think that I would even care about having a cell phone. But because they do I miss out on the world. I am being pushed and pulled by myself to go with the flow.
If I was doing this because I wanted to accomplish a certain task, I would be like a few very wise people. No silly fads would bother me; I would be totally independent from everyone. One example: I want to play the guitar. I don't know anyone that well that can play the guitar (really play it and not just mess around on the strings). I think that music played by guitars is awesome. I am teaching myself to play because I want to play awesome music in ways I can't on the piano. This is what I hope I am doing it for. But the only way I can tell is if I think about it for a long time (8 hours is not enough). So if you see me staring off into space a lot you will know why.